Angie's essay comes in at words, a little below the word limit. The essay does a good job showing the reader a dimension of Angie that probably isn't apparent anywhere else in her application. Her love of creating cartoons wouldn't appear in her academic record or list of extracurricular activities. Thus, it's a good choice for one of her Personal Insight essays after all, it's providing new insight into her person. We learn that Angie isn't just a good student who is involved in some school activities. She also has a hobby she is passionate about. Crucially, Angie explains why cartooning is important to her. The tone of Angie's essay is also a plus. She has not written a typical "look how great I am" essay. Instead, Angie clearly tells us that her artistic skills are rather weak.

Her honesty is refreshing, and at the same time, the essay does convey much to admire about Angie: she is funny, self-deprecating, and caring. This latter point, in fact, is the true strength of the essay. By explaining that she enjoys this hobby because of the happiness it brings other people, Angie comes across as someone who is genuine, considerate, and kind. Overall, the essay is quite strong. It is clearly written, uses an engaging style , and is free of any major grammatical errors. It presents a dimension of Angie's character that should appeal to the admissions staff who read her essay.

If there is one weakness, it would be that the third paragraph focuses on Angie's early childhood. Colleges are much more interested in what you have done in recent years than your activities as a child. That said, the childhood information connects to Angie's current interests in clear, relevant ways, so it does not detract too much from the overall essay. For one of his University of California Personal Insight essays, Terrance responded to option 6: Describe your favorite academic subject and explain how it has influenced you. Like Angie's essay, Terrance's essay comes in at a little over words.

This length is perfectly appropriate assuming all of the words add substance to the narrative. When it comes to the features of a good application essay , Terrance does well and avoids common pitfalls. For Terrance, the choice of question 6 makes sense—he fell in love with composing music, and he is entering college knowing what his major will be. If you are like many college applicants and have a wide range of interests and possible college majors, you may want to steer clear of this question. Terrance's essay does a good job balancing humor with substance. The opening paragraph presents an entertaining vignette in which he chooses to study music based on nothing more than peer pressure.

By paragraph three, we learn how that rather serendipitous introduction to music has led to something very meaningful. The final paragraph also establishes a pleasing tone with its emphasis on music as a "unifying force" and something that Terrance wants to share with others. He comes across as a passionate and generous person who will contribute to the campus community in a meaningful way. Unlike the California State University system , the University of California schools have a holistic admissions process. The admissions officers are evaluating you as a whole person, not just as numerical data related to test scores and grades although both are important. The Personal Insight questions are one of the primary ways the admissions officers get to know you, your personality, and your interests.

MUN has taught me the practice of rhetoric and the relevance of ethos, pathos, and logos. I have learnt to listen to opposing viewpoints, a rare skill in my primarily liberal high school. I see MUN as a theatre production, where success is determined by how well you, in essence, become and portray your country to an audience of the world i. In the sugar bateys of the Dominican Republic, I always had a plan. The only caveat: it was never the same plan. My task, helping to manage optometric screenings, did benefit from preparation, sure. The meticulous sorting and cataloging of our physical glasses database was extremely useful. But the moment our group arrived, my expectations began to unravel.

To keep up with the shifting conditions, I had to get creative. My old plan relied on subjective equipment, now demonstrated ineffective by language and technological barriers. New plan: use the objective autorefractor. Timeless, right? Technically functional, too slow. New plan: the old plan, but different! Use the autorefractor and an egregious quantity of wax paper to reduce light, but keep chart-based preliminary screening. Decent enough, for now. Our medical group moved every day, so I had to literally tear down the previous system, and rebuild it differently elsewhere. Without fail, I encountered failure. But every failure and constraint served as a catalyst for innovation.

Rather, it was experimentation and iteration. Problem solving is often assumed to be clean and algorithmic, but my most effective solutions were malleable and messy—not to mention produced in a chain of modifications so convoluted as to elude any sense of monolithic inspiration. My innovation was incremental, and it was holistic. Behind every idea were its predecessors, and ahead, its execution. To me, that is the heart of creativity. As long as I was willing to be proven wrong, a new idea was within reach. And with it, came endless, autocatalytic possibilities, all competing to push me in a new direction.

Prompt: What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? With a blackened Q-tip, I gave him eyelids and pupils and smoothed the rough edges of his face. I used an eraser to shave down the sharpness of his jaw and add highlights to his skin. After scrutinizing the proportions, I smiled at the finished pencil portrait. Kim Jong-dae was now ready to be wrapped as the perfect present for my friend. But being an artist comes with its own social expectations. On the bright side, being an artist has taught me to take risks and experiment with new techniques and media. Most of all, art has made me a more empathetic human. In drawing a person, I live in their shoes for a moment and try to understand them.

I take note of the little idiosyncrasies. I let the details--a hijab, a piercing on a nose, a scar on the chin--tell me their personality, their thoughts, their worldview. I recognize the shared features that make us human and appreciate the differences in culture and values that make us unique. Prompt: Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced. Freshman year, I fell in love with the smell of formaldehyde for its promise of an especially exciting day in Biology. By junior year, I still had almost no idea what I would do in the future. Naturally, I applied in a blink, and somehow even got accepted. When I started the program, I never expected to become so enamored with computer science.

Every day, I took pages of notes during the class lecture, then enthusiastically attacked the homework problems during the evening. In fact, most nights I stayed late in the computer lab trying to finish just one more optional challenge problem or add more features to already completed programs. One of my favorite programs was a Hangman game that made sarcastic remarks at invalid inputs. However, some programs were notoriously difficult, sparking countless frustrated jokes among the candidates: a version of the card game War overly prone to infinite loops, a queue class apparently comprised entirely of index errors.

The sign-up list for TA help overflowed with increasing frequency as the curriculum grew more difficult. So, after I finished a program, I often helped my peers with debugging by pointing out syntax errors and logical missteps. In the final week, I was chosen to be a presenter for CS at the Final Dinner, speaking about the subject I loved to program donors and peers alike. In that amazing month, I discovered a field that blends creativity with logic and a renewed passion for learning and exploration. Now, imagining my no-longer-nebulous future brings excitement. And somehow, that excitement always smells faintly of formaldehyde. Knowing visual acuity is important because it helps diagnose vision problems. But the challenge? Usually people have to go into eye doctors and get an eye test to determine their acuity.

My goal is to configure this into a mobile app so that it's easy for someone to determine if he or she needs glasses. I hope to continue using my programming skills to make the benefits of research more accessible. The skills, experience, and network I will build at the computer science department will help me devise solutions to problems and bring the benefits of research to the public. Nine times out of ten, this is picked as the lie. I spent my primary education years in Bangalore, India. The Indian education system emphasizes skills like handwriting and mental math. I learnt how to memorize and understand masses of information in one sitting. This method is rote in comparison to critical thinking, but has encouraged me to look beyond classroom walls, learning about the rivers of Eastern Europe and the history of mathematics.

Aside from using Oxford Dictionary spellings and the metric system, I found little to no similarities between British and Indian curricula. I found these elements to be an enhancing supplement to textbooks and notes. Nevertheless, the elementary level of study frustrated me. I was prevented from advancing in areas I showed aptitude for, leading to a lack of enthusiasm. I was ashamed and tired of being the only one to raise my hand. Suddenly, striving for success had negative connotations. Three years later, I began high school in Oakland, California. US education seemed to have the perfect balance between creative thinking, core subjects and achievement. However, it does have its share of fallacies in comparison to my experience in other systems. I find that my classmates rarely learn details about cultures outside of these borders until very late in their career.

The emphasis on multiple choice testing and the weight of letter grades has deterred curiosity. In only seventeen years, I have had the opportunity to experience three very different educational systems. Each has shaped me into a global citizen and prepared me for a world whose borders are growing extremely defined. My perspective in living amongst different cultures has provided me with insight on how to understand various opinions and thus form a comprehensive plan to reach resolution. In 10th and 11th grade, I explored the world of China with my classmates through feasts of mapo tofu, folk games and calligraphy.

As I developed a familial bond with my classmates and teacher, the class became a chance to discover myself. As a result, I was inspired to take AP Chinese. So I took matters into my own hands. I emailed all the advisors I could find within a fifty-mile radius. I asked myself: Why was I trying so hard to take an AP test? I wanted to buy vegetables from the lady at the market and not be known as a visitor. I wanted to connect. At am on April 19, I got my yes. Language is not just a form of communication for me.

Through, Chinese I connect with my heritage, my people, and my country. Prompt: Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. When I was fifteen years old I broke up with my mother. She and I both knew that I was the only person that she had in America. Her family was in Russia, she only spoke to her estranged ex-husband in court, her oldest son avoided her at all costs. Moving in with my dad full time felt like I was abandoning her after tying a noose around her neck. For the first time, I had taken action. I was never again going to passively let life happen to me.

During four long months of separation, I filled the space that my mom previously dominated with learning: everything and anything. I taught myself French through online programs, built websites, and began began editing my drawings on Photoshop to sell them online. When my dad lost his third job in five years, I learned to sew my own clothes and applied my new knowledge to costume design in the Drama Department. On stage, I learned to empathize. Backstage, I worked with teams of dedicated and mutually supportive students. In our improv group, I gained the confidence to act on my instincts. With the help of my Drama teacher, I learned to humble myself enough to ask for help.

On my sixteenth birthday, I picked up the phone and dialed my mom. I waited through three agonizingly long pauses between rings. Prompt: Think about an academic subject that inspires you. When I was 10, my dad told me that in and on my body, bacteria outnumbered human cells. For a 10 year old, this was a horrifying idea. I squeezed my forearms tightly in attempts to squish the foreigners to death. I showered in way-too-hot-for-ten-year-olds water. I poured lemon juice all over my body. I decided then that I wanted to be a doctor and study microbiology.

Over the summer, I shadowed Dr. Wong Mei Ling, a General Practitioner. I observed case after case of bacterial interactions on the human body: an inflamed crimson esophagus suffering from streptococcus, bulging flesh from a staph infection, food poisoning from e. coli-laden dishes. I was her researcher, looking up new drugs or potential illnesses that cause particular symptoms. Intrigued by the sensitive balance between the good and bad bacteria on our bodies, I changed my lifestyle after researching more about our biological processes. I viewed my cheek cells through a microscope in AP Bio, and I realized that each cell needs to be given the right nutrients. Learning about foods enhancing my organ functions and immune system, I now eat yogurt regularly for the daily intake of probiotics to facilitate my digestion.

As a future pediatrician, I hope to teach children how to live symbiotically with bacteria instead of fearing them. I will stress the importance of achieving the right balance of good and bad microbes through healthy habits. Like a daily reminder, the minute microbes in and on me serve as a reminder of my passion for the complex but tiny foundation of life. I am a student, a volleyball player, a daughter, a sister, a friend. But in room , I am also a number. Room is home to Dr. Mooney and his humanities students. Since sophomore year, I have been number 10, assigned to me by Dr. As someone who browses the History Channel for fun, I consider myself a huge history nerd. When I chose to take Art History, I thought I had already learned all there was to know about art.

The first time I stepped into his classroom, I was overwhelmed by life-size posters of paintings hanging off walls and the large Lamassu posed over the doorway. Through performing weekly skits and creating art flashcards, I learned that art is not just something appealing to look at. Without a passport, I explored the worlds of various cultures from the comfort of seat number Most importantly, yet ironically, art history piqued my interest in STEM fields. Previously, I did not see the point in studying and solving an endless array of numbers, only to produce another number. However, I now understand the importance of STEM for advancing future civilizations and preserving ancient ones.

Technology has also woven its way through art. If Frank Gehry can design the Guggenheim Museum with the help of computer software, what else can we design with just a tap of the fingertips? Having taken a Harvard computer course and learned coding through the Girls Who Code Summer Immersion Program, I know the answer: lots. So yes, I am a number. And yes, I am a history nerd. However, I am also a future scientist in the making. Prompt: What have you done to make your school or your community a better place? So many of my friends had eating disorders. Scrolling through poems written by students at my school on a poetry publishing site, I was shocked by the number of girls starving or purging in attempts to love themselves.

Before finding out about their struggles, I thought I was the only girl hating my reflection. I joined House of Pain HOP , an exercise club my PE teacher recommended. Although I initially despised working out, I left the gym feeling strong and proud of my body. Over the first weeks, I even developed a finger-shaped bruise on my bicep as I checked it daily. I began to love exercise and wanted to share my hope with my friends. I intentionally talked about the benefits of working out. I regularly invited them to come to the HOP sessions after school.

I talked about how fun it was, while at the same time mentioning the healthy body change process. Their language changed from obsessing with size to pride in their strength. I was asked to lead classes and scoured the web for effective circuit reps. I researched modifications for injuries and the best warmups and cooldowns for workouts. I continue to lead discussions focusing on finding confidence in our bodies and defining worth through determination and strength rather than our waists. Although today my weight is almost identical to what it was before HOP, my perspective and, perhaps more importantly, my community is different.

There are fewer poems of despair, and more about identity. I have lived in the Middle East for the last 11 years of my life. But what really catches my attention are the men who wear blue jumpsuits striped with fluorescent colors, who cover their faces with scarves and sunglasses, and who look so small next to the machines they use and the skyscrapers they build. These men are the immigrant laborers from South-Asian countries who work for 72 hours a week in the scorching heat of the Middle East and sleep through freezing winter nights without heaters in small unhygienic rooms with other men.

Sometimes workers are denied their own passports, having become victims of exploitation. International NGOs have recognized this as a violation of basic human rights and classified it as bonded labour. As fellow immigrants from similar ethnicities, my friends and I decided to help the laborers constructing stadiums for the FIFA world cup. Since freedom of speech was limited, we educated ourselves on the legal system of Qatar and carried out our activities within its constraints. With this money, we bought ACs, heaters and hygienic amenities for the laborers. We then educated laborers about their basic rights. In the process, I became a fluent Nepalese speaker. As an experienced debater, I gave speeches about the exploitation of laborers at the gatherings.

Also, I became the percussionist of the small rock band we created to perform songs that might evoke empathy in well-off migrants. As an experienced website-developer, I also reached out to other people in the Middle East who were against bonded labor and helped them develop the migrant-rights. org website. Although we could only help 64 of the millions of laborers in the Middle East, we hope that our efforts to spread awareness will inspire more people to reach out to the laborers who built their homes. Prompt: Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California? Flames licking my face. Unknown creatures circling me restlessly. The darkness threatening to swallow me. I asked for this. Nine long days in the jungle with only a day's worth of rations, the Jungle Confidence Course was designed to test our survival capabilities.

To make matters worse, I had to carry a bunch of heavy military equipment that had no use to me for the purpose of the test. Dropped in the middle of Brunei, no matter which way you walked the terrain always went up. So why on earth would anyone volunteer this? I was hungry. Not in the physical sense, even though I was starving for those nine days, but rather due to an incurable thirst. Every Singaporean male citizen is required to serve two years in service to the country essentially delaying our education and subsequent entrance into the workforce.

Most people, including my friends, see this as something terrible and try to avoid it altogether by flying overseas. Others look for the easiest and most cushiony job to serve during the two long years rather than be another military grunt. As for myself, since I had to do it why not do the best I can and hope to benefit from it? Movies became reality accomplishing tasks once impossible. Aspiration drove me then, and still continues to pilot me now. All these experiences and memories creates a lasting impact, creating pride and the motivation to continue forward.

I could have given up at any point during those long nine days, but with every pang of hunger I made myself focus on what I wanted. To be the best version of myself possible, and come out of this challenge stronger than ever before. My dad and I built a garden in our small rocky backyard to remind us of our village in India, 3, km away from our compact metropolitan household in Qatar.

Every applicant to one of the University of California campuses must write four short essays in response to the UC application's Personal Insight questions. The UC essay examples below reveal how two different students approached the prompts. Both essays are accompanied by an analysis of their strengths and weaknesses. The strongest UC essays present information that isn't available elsewhere in the application, and they paint the portrait of someone who will play a positive role in the campus community. Let your kindness, humor, talent, and creativity shine, but also make sure each of your four essays is substantive. As you figure out your strategy for responding to the UC Personal Insight questions , keep in mind that it's not just the individual essays that matter, but also the full portrait of yourself that you create through the combination of all four essays.

Ideally, each essay should present a different dimension of your personality, interests, and talents so that the admissions folks get to know you as a three-dimensional individual who has a lot to contribute to the campus community. For one of her Personal Insight essays, Angie responded to question 2: Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side. Angie's essay comes in at words, a little below the word limit. The essay does a good job showing the reader a dimension of Angie that probably isn't apparent anywhere else in her application.

Her love of creating cartoons wouldn't appear in her academic record or list of extracurricular activities. Thus, it's a good choice for one of her Personal Insight essays after all, it's providing new insight into her person. We learn that Angie isn't just a good student who is involved in some school activities. She also has a hobby she is passionate about. Crucially, Angie explains why cartooning is important to her. The tone of Angie's essay is also a plus. She has not written a typical "look how great I am" essay. Instead, Angie clearly tells us that her artistic skills are rather weak. Her honesty is refreshing, and at the same time, the essay does convey much to admire about Angie: she is funny, self-deprecating, and caring.

This latter point, in fact, is the true strength of the essay. By explaining that she enjoys this hobby because of the happiness it brings other people, Angie comes across as someone who is genuine, considerate, and kind. Overall, the essay is quite strong. It is clearly written, uses an engaging style , and is free of any major grammatical errors. It presents a dimension of Angie's character that should appeal to the admissions staff who read her essay. If there is one weakness, it would be that the third paragraph focuses on Angie's early childhood. Colleges are much more interested in what you have done in recent years than your activities as a child.

That said, the childhood information connects to Angie's current interests in clear, relevant ways, so it does not detract too much from the overall essay. For one of his University of California Personal Insight essays, Terrance responded to option 6: Describe your favorite academic subject and explain how it has influenced you. Like Angie's essay, Terrance's essay comes in at a little over words. This length is perfectly appropriate assuming all of the words add substance to the narrative. When it comes to the features of a good application essay , Terrance does well and avoids common pitfalls. For Terrance, the choice of question 6 makes sense—he fell in love with composing music, and he is entering college knowing what his major will be.

If you are like many college applicants and have a wide range of interests and possible college majors, you may want to steer clear of this question. Terrance's essay does a good job balancing humor with substance. The opening paragraph presents an entertaining vignette in which he chooses to study music based on nothing more than peer pressure. By paragraph three, we learn how that rather serendipitous introduction to music has led to something very meaningful. The final paragraph also establishes a pleasing tone with its emphasis on music as a "unifying force" and something that Terrance wants to share with others.

He comes across as a passionate and generous person who will contribute to the campus community in a meaningful way. Unlike the California State University system , the University of California schools have a holistic admissions process. The admissions officers are evaluating you as a whole person, not just as numerical data related to test scores and grades although both are important. The Personal Insight questions are one of the primary ways the admissions officers get to know you, your personality, and your interests. Think of each essay as an independent entity, as well as one piece of a four-essay application. Each essay should present an engaging narrative that reveals an important aspect of your life as well as explain why the topic you've chosen is important to you.

When you consider all four essays in combination, they should work together to reveal the true breadth and depth of your character and interests. When you visit the site, Dotdash Meredith and its partners may store or retrieve information on your browser, mostly in the form of cookies. Cookies collect information about your preferences and your devices and are used to make the site work as you expect it to, to understand how you interact with the site, and to show advertisements that are targeted to your interests. You can find out more about our use, change your default settings, and withdraw your consent at any time with effect for the future by visiting Cookies Settings , which can also be found in the footer of the site.

Share Flipboard Email. By Allen Grove Allen Grove. Allen Grove is an Alfred University English professor and a college admissions expert with over 20 years of experience helping students transition to college. Learn about our Editorial Process. Features of a Winning UC Personal Insight Essay The strongest UC essays present information that isn't available elsewhere in the application, and they paint the portrait of someone who will play a positive role in the campus community. Cite this Article Format. Grove, Allen. UC Essay Examples for the Personal Insight Questions. copy citation. Tips for the 8 University of California Personal Insight Questions.

A Sample Essay for Common Application Option 7: Topic of Your Choice. Sample Supplemental Essay for College Admissions: Why This College? Sample College Application Short Answer Essay. Sample Common Application Essay for Option 5. Sample Weak Supplemental Essay for Duke University. Sample Application Essay - Porkopolis. Ideal College Application Essay Length. Cookies Settings Reject All Accept Cookies.

Before you can explain what you did in your community, you have to define and describe this community itself—and you can necessarily only do that by focusing on what it means to you. A week later, I brought a keyboard to teach her how to press the keys and she began clapping when I entered her room! Creativity is navigating around the complexities of a capitalistic society designed to benefit only the top percentile in industrialized countries. Aside from being just a program, websites bring people closer together. Cite this Article Format. Growing plants in a desert, especially outdoors without any type of climate control system, can seem to be a daunting task.

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